One of my very favorite quotes "Change the way you look at things and
the things you look at change," came from Wayne Dyer. He was a beloved
teacher with great wisdom who helped us connect with our higher source
of power. May he RIP knowing his contributions were enormous to our ever
evolving journey.
Sometimes when we are in the middle
of a crisis, challenge or painful process the only way out is how we
are looking at our own stuff. We have to try to identify the source of
the deep wound that is attached to the moment of confusion and suffering
and work our way up from there. We either adopt a pattern from our
parents or care-givers or rebel against it. Both ways are not
necessarily positive because somewhere in the middle is where we want to
be. We will continue to have arrested development and stunted growth if
we choose not to face it.
So, here is an example: A
young woman named Janice has been continuously and repeatedly made to
feel small in her mother's presence. She is treated with disrespect,
disregard and spoken to in a hurtful manner. She is rejected and left
out of family gatherings; never praised for an accomplishment; a bother
to be around; and judged. Janice is hurt by her Mother's rejection but
using the tool of changing how she looks at things she digs deep to see
the jewel and the gift of her Mother's behavior.
The jealousy
started when Janice was born and her father favored her. The path then
led to a lifelong resentment her Mother carried toward Janice.
Changing
the way Janice looked at her situation allowed for no change in her
Mother but change in Janice. Every opportunity she had to either
boundary up psychically or go to the opposite and put her arms around
her fragile, hurtful mother without taking on the resistant to love gave
Janice her power back. She told her Mother she loved her when the
negativity came toward her. Over time things felt better for Janice
because she could see the wounded and angry Mother with arrested
development emotionally and accepted things as they are. The change was
in Janice.
Think of all the things that could be looked
at differently and how you can grow yourself in response to hurtful
emotions that arise when confronted with them. Almost every day we are
given an opportunity to heal and empower ourselves with wisdom readily
available.
Check out my revised book for more information on how to live a more fulfilling and joyful life:
http://www.amazon.com/New-You-Practical-Steps-Loving-ebook/dp/B01CRF2UNK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1457639341&sr=8-1&keywords=a+new+you+sirah+vettese
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